Don’t Rush Your Life
As therapists working in a college town, we are regularly having conversations with students and adults about how they feel behind in life and need to take more steps toward their dream career. They are surrounded by other people that are getting these awesome internships and have their post-college job lined up months before they graduate. Meanwhile, the world is telling them they are behind if they don’t have all of this figured out by the end of their freshman year. Why do we put so much pressure on college students to have this all figured out? Does it even matter in the real world? Two of our therapists, in very different seasons of life, break down their perspectives on career development during college and post grad life.
The perspective of someone that graduated within the past couple years:
Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash downloaded 1/22/24
I have been in my career for only about 2.5 years. I finished my undergraduate degree in December 2019, immediately started my Masters program in the spring of 2020, and finished my Masters 3 semesters later. I bought into the expectation to finish college as quickly as you can, get the graduate degree, and start building your career ASAP. I worked in the field of social services during grad school to “gain more experience.” And then I made sure I had a job lined up for right after I graduated to meet that expectation. About 12 months later, I already needed a change and saw my opportunity to land my dream job.
Being a trauma therapist in private practice has been my dream job since I started my social work program in undergrad. I landed my dream job within a year of being in my career. Yay! But now what? What am I working toward now? When you think about the average retirement age of 65, and starting your career by the age of 25, that’s about 40 years in the workforce. So I either need to find a way to suddenly be content with where I’m at in my career for the next 40 years or my goals have to change. This realization hit me hard. While I love my job and wouldn’t change it for the world, coming to this realization left me almost in an identity crisis. First of all, the idea of doing the same thing for the next 40 years of my life sounds terrifying. Second, can my success really grow much more? Will I be content not working toward a new goal for 40 years? Why did I rush this process so much? I would love to be considered an “expert” in my field but I’ve only been doing this for 2.5 years. It takes much more time to learn, develop, and expand my skill set to meet that goal. But my day to day job is helping me meet that goal.
I really encourage my clients to think through if they want to peak in their career in their 20s, be open to the idea of career goals changing over the next 40 years, and realized how your day to day life now is setting you up to meet those goals.
The perspective of someone that has been in their career for almost 20 years:
Photo by Amy Hirschi on Unsplash downloaded 1/22/24
From seventh grade through my freshman year in college I wanted to be a physical therapist and had a plan to make that happen. However, that desire waned and I realized I no longer wanted to be in the medical field part way through my freshman year. After a brief panic and a couple of classes later I changed my major to social work and got that degree two and a half years later. I took one year between my bachelor’s and master's degrees to get a little experience. I landed a great job out of graduate school. I was promoted to a director position three years later which was my career goal. So I reached my goal at 27. Unfortunately I became unfulfilled in that job after four years so I had to go back to the drawing board not really sure what I wanted to do next. I found another social work job that many people consider their dream job but after seven years I needed a change. The opportunity to join Aspire came along. I joined Aspire part-time and did two jobs for a year and a half. I didn’t necessarily plan on joining a private practice but decided to try and nearly four years later I’m still here. When I was younger I felt like I needed to have goals and a strong plan to reach them. Those shifted and my viewpoint has as well. I have 24 years to go until I turn 65. Although my plan is to remain in private practice I don’t know what will happen and I’m okay with that. 25 year old me would not have expected the turns my career took. Right now I’m content with where I am.
I hit an identity crisis when I was in my dream job at 27. I found I did not want to go in that direction but went in another and then another. The great thing is you don’t have to have it all figured out your freshman year of high school, your freshman year of college or even your senior year of college. Likely, it will change anyway. It is great to have goals but important to realize they can change. I have numerous friends in their 40s in their second careers. They once enjoyed what they went to college for but found it was no longer fulfilling 15-20 years later. Some went back to school and others were able to make changes without additional degrees. They don’t regret making the decision to get that degree at 22 but are thankful they were able to make a change. We are not the same people at 40 as we were at 20. Our desires change. Our passions change. Our goals change. Rather than worrying about not being successful, embrace that likely your career will evolve over time and may look different than you expect it to now.
Counseling in Missouri
Experience comprehensive counseling services at Aspire Counseling. Our therapists work with a wide variety of mental health concerns such as OCD, trauma, anxiety, depression, grief and we also provide LGBTQ+ affirming mental health care. Our therapists goals is to provide safe, confidential spaces for individuals to explore their thoughts and emotions, while providing compassion, support, and evidence-based care.
Take the first step towards a healthier life. Reach out today, via our contact form, or give us a call at 573-328-2288 ext. 1, and let one of our Client Care Team members set you up with a great match for a free 30-minute consultation.
Mikayla Wichern (Left) is a virtual therapist in Missouri, specializing in OCD, trauma, depression, anxiety and more!
Kristi Sveum (Right) is a therapist at our Columbia office, or virtual to anyone in Missouri, specializing in teens, and college students experiencing, OCD, trauma, anxiety, and more!
About the Authors
Mikayla Wichern (Left) is a virtual therapist at Aspire Counseling, along with Kristi Sveum (Right), who is in person or virtual!
Kristi Sveum previously supervised Mikayla when she was an LMSW, and since then their relationship as friends and coworkers has grown.
Both know the feeling of having goals, and growing past those goals, and know how difficult and stressful life can be sometimes! Both are incredibly passionate about bringing compassion, and evidence-based care to each and every client, and each and every session!
